Take My Sister, Please
Take My Sister, Please is episode three from season five of Full House. It originally aired on October 1, 1991. Summary Stephanie and her big mouth cost D.J. a potential date with a boy named Rick, and as a result, in addition to the constant snooping on her phone calls, reading her diaries, and violations of the two rules set in the series premiere (namely she always has to remind Stephanie to keep her stuff on her own side of the room in addition to not setting foot on D.J.'s side nor can she touch D.J.'s stuff), D.J. has had enough and is absolutely fed up with Stephanie. As everyone gathers in the kitchen, D.J., using a PowerPoint-style presentation called "My Own Room: Together We Can Make it Happen", petitions the guys to let her have her own bedroom – something she has not had in four years. The guys talk it over in a huddle (which offends D.J. a little), and they decide to let D.J. have her own bedroom again; this time, permanently and for real. D.J. feels highly relieved, after four years (five in D.J.'s words) of sharing a bedroom with Stephanie. As a matter of fact, Stephanie is now almost the age D.J. was when they started sharing a bedroom four years ago, and Michelle is now almost the age Stephanie was at that time. The new arrangement is that D.J. and Michelle will switch rooms. As a result, Michelle will go across the hall and be Stephanie's new roommate, while D.J. takes over Michelle's old bedroom. The problem is, after being called a "kindergarten baby" and a "little shrimp" by Stephanie and even having both her sisters misjudge her age of 4 3/4 as 4 whole years old, Michelle does not want to be Stephanie's roommate either. This causes Stephanie to believe that no one wants to live with her, until Comet comes along and "invites" her to live in his doghouse, which doesn't go well either, as it's too small for Stephanie as well as uncomfortable. Feeling unwanted by D.J. and Michelle, and knowing that Comet's doghouse is too small and uncomfortable for her, Stephanie takes matters into her own hands by hauling all her belongings into the bathroom, from which she refuses to budge. At first, Danny tries to reason with them, and then suggests that no one should change rooms. After Michelle refuses to accept the decision and heads back to her soon-to-be-former room, a desperate D.J., who says the idea was great to begin with, talks to Stephanie, who admits that she does not want D.J. to move to a different room, because she will miss everything, like listening in on D.J.'s phone calls, finding out if she's got a date for the weekend, or even reading her diary to see how it went. D.J., who reminds Stephanie that they were more than just roommates, they're soulmates, helps her accept the change, and says that if she or Michelle or anyone else needs to come to her for help, be it with a problem or anything else; the door's always open, unless it's closed, in which case they must knock--that is the new Rule #2 for her soon-to-be-current room from this point forward. Rule #1, which had been in use since day 1, remains: Never touch her stuff. After their heart-to-heart, they walk out of the bathroom and across the hall to Michelle's soon-to-be-former room, knock on the door, and, after being granted entrance, have the same heart-to-heart with her, 2-on-1 (instead of 1-on-1), and help her accept the fact that she will be Stephanie's new roommate; in fact, Stephanie goes as far as (indirectly) apologizing to Michelle for calling her a "kindergarten baby", and even offering Michelle a bag of cookies if she will accept, which she finally does. D.J. takes it a step further and even explains that if Michelle doesn't move, she'll miss out on a wonderful experience and that having Stephanie as a roommate was the happiest time of her life (with no emphasis on "was", as the aforementioned and countless other previous events suggest otherwise), and it's time for Michelle to be happy. With this change, Stephanie is now the older sister in her room, and unlike D.J., she only has one rule for her new roommate as opposed to two: She's the boss at all times. (And also unlike D.J., there are no limitations as to who can be on whose side of the room or who can touch whose stuff or even whose friends can be in the room at any one time) With this said and done, and both sisters arguing over who's the boss, D.J. herself is happy, and, after escorting her two continuously-arguing sisters out the door of her soon-to-be-current room and closing the door, can only exclaim an exciting and fist-pumping "YES!" as she enjoys her new-found freedom for the first time in many moons. Meanwhile, Jesse does his best to dodge Becky's pregnancy-induced mood swings. When Becky's Lamaze instructor, Lisa Green ( , Captain Samantha Thomas on ), holds a Lamaze class in the living room with Jesse, Becky and some of their friends who are soon to become parents, Joey and Danny compete for Lisa's affections. Quotes Kimmy, and D.J. are studying in what will be D.J.'s room for possibly the last time, when suddenly... Stephanie: Hey, you must be Rick. The Rick-Meister. Rick-A-Rama. The Rickshaw Man. Ricky Tikki Tavi! D.J.: My annoying little sister was just leaving. Stephanie: down at the last chair at the table and props her feet up No, your adorable little sister was just making herself comfortable. and D.J. get up and carry Stephanie and the chair she's sitting in out of the room Um, hey! Wait a minute! One moment, please! Can we talk about this? Just a—just a—door slams How...rude! ---- D.J.: Stephanie, you ruined everything! Rick was just about to ask me out! Stephanie: Maybe he’ll ask you out tomorrow. D.J.: Oh, sure. By tomorrow, he’ll find someone who can hold their corn dogs. They’ll fall in love on the Squirminator, and I’ll end up desperate and alone. Stephanie: You'll never be alone. You'll always have me. D.J.: I don't want you. You're always in my way. I'm getting my own room. You, little sister, are history. ----- her "My Own Room: We Can Make it Happen" presentation... D.J.: Stephanie and Michelle are the exact same ages Stephanie and I were when we first started sharing a room. Isn't that amazing? Joey: That is amazing. That's like Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln, and Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy! Jesse: What's amazing is you're able to dress yourself in the morning. ---- has just finished her "My Own Room: We Can Make it Happen" presentation, and the two younger sisters are not pleased with what's about to happen next Stephanie: Please don't make me live with a 4-year-old baby. Michelle: I'm not a baby. I'm 4 3/4! Stephanie: You're still a little shrimp. Michelle: Stop calling me names, you cheese-head. ---- Danny has talked with the two younger sisters... Stephanie: Well Michelle, I guess it's just you and me. Michelle: I don't wanna live with you. Stephanie: Why not? You look up to me. Michelle: That's because I'm short. Stephanie: Michelle, we're gonna be roommates. This should be the happiest day of your life! Michelle: Read my lips: raspberry walks away, leaving Stephanie speechless Stephanie: Nobody wants to live with me. ---- [In what is still her room, and will be D.J.'s room for most definitely the last time, Stephanie packs her suitcase, as Comet sits on her soon-to-be-old bed, with her soon-to-be new bed (basically D.J.'s soon-to-be-old bed, sheets and all) seen in the background.] Stephanie: Comet, you don't know what it's like to have everyone against you. Well, D.J. and Michelle don't wanna live with me. I'll just find a place of my own. barks a suggestion to her Thanks for the offer. But it might be a little crowded in your dog house. pets and hugs him ---- [D.J. is in what will be Michelle's room for most definitely the last time, and her new room for the first time in many moons. She uses some measuring tape to see what will fit in it. Then suddenly...] Michelle: May I help you? D.J.: Just measuring my new room. Kimmy was right. There is enough room for a hot tub. Michelle: Not so fast, sister. This is still my room. D.J.: Michelle, you heard Dad. You're moving in with Stephanie and I'm getting this room all to myself. Michelle: You should stay in your room. Stephanie moved out. D.J.: No she didn't. Michelle: Yes she did. D.J.: No she didn't. Michelle: Yes she did. D.J.: No she didn't. Michelle: Yes she did. D.J.: Why am I arguing with a 4-year-old? Michelle: A 4 3/4! [They walk over to what was Stephanie and D.J.'s room, and will be Stephanie and Michelle's room starting next time, open the door, and find Stephanie's soon-to-be-former side and Michelle's soon-to-be-current side completely empty, except for some shelves and some open drawer chests] D.J.: she closes the door to her soon-to-be-former room You're right, she's gone. Michelle: Duh! D.J.: Well, where did she go? Michelle: Follow me. leads D.J. to the bathroom, and they open the door and go in. ---- the bathroom, we see it completely decked out, with all of Stephanie's belongings. D.J.: Stephanie? opens the curtains, and can't believe what she sees: Her sister and soon-to-be-former roommate sitting in the bathtub Stephanie: she removes her glasses Did someone forget how to knock? D.J.: Stephanie, what are you doing in here? Stephanie: I live in here. Isn't it cool? I turned the sink into a wet bar, the tub into a waterbed, and I'm thinking of turning the toilet into a love seat. Danny: in Hi, girls. too, can't believe what he sees Is there something you wanna tell me? Michelle: Stephanie lives in the potty now. Danny: at Michelle Oh really? at Stephanie Well, I love what you've done to the place. Stephanie: Thanks! I've got the cable guy coming in Tuesday. Danny: to the bathtub to have a heart-to-heart with her Honey, why did you move in here? Stephanie: Because I've got no place else to go. D.J. and Michelle don't wanna live with me. audience groans Danny: at all 3 of his daughters Girls, I don't like what I'm hearing. Maybe we should rethink this whole idea of changing rooms. D.J.: No, no. No rethinking. Your original thinking was perfect. Just give me a chance to work this all out. Danny: OK, Deej. Heck, you've had enough "Dad talks" over the years. I think I've given you enough wisdom to handle this on your own. D.J.: Thanks, Dad. Danny: I won't even mention how important it is to treat each other with respect-- D.J.: I got it. Danny: I'm sorry, these "Dad talks" are hard to give up. exits, leaving his daughters to have a heart-to-heart with each other D.J.: Why don't you say we just skip the speech, go straight to the hugs, and we'll all start packing? Michelle: No, thank you. D.J.: Michelle? and Stephanie can only watch as their younger sister exits and heads back to her soon-to-be former room, leaving the 2 older sisters to have the heart-to-heart with each other alone Stephanie: Great start, Deej. Dad would be proud. Would you mind closing the door on your way out? D.J.: Steph, come on. I've given you 5 years. Give me 5 minutes. Stephanie: Fine, 5 minutes. her watch Ready? Go. D.J.: Steph, I know we can work this out. We always work things out. Stephanie: sternly Yeah, but this time, it's personal. D.J.: Steph, we've been through too much together to throw it away now. We've laughed, we've cried, we weren't just roommates, we were soulmates. Stephanie: Very touching. at her watch 4 minutes. D.J.: Steph, if you stay in here, this could ruin everything. Is this some kind of revenge because I’ve been such a terrible sister? walks over to sit down on the side of the bathtub to talk directly to her soon-to-be former roommate Stephanie: No. [realizes what her soon-to-be former roommate is saying and gets up out of the tub and walks over to her to continue the direct heart-to-heart, as the usual "end-of-episode" inspirational music starts] You've been a great sister. That's why I don't want you to leave. If you go, I'll miss everything: Listening to your phone calls, hearing if you got a date for the weekend, then reading your diary to see how it went. D.J.: Steph, I'll be right down the hall. You can visit me whenever you want. My door's always open...unless it's closed, then you knock. Stephanie: But it won't be the same. D.J.: No, not exactly the same. You're gonna be the big sister in the room. Michelle is gonna look up to you just like you look up to me. But one thing will never change: I'll always be your big sister and I'll always love you. Stephanie: I'll always love you too, Deej. both hug, as the usual "end-of-episode" inspirational music stops D.J.: Now that we have the old team back together, maybe between the two of us, we can try to outsmart Michelle. Stephanie: Piece of cake! sisters walk out of the bathroom, across the hall, and over to what will be Michelle's soon-to-be-former room and D.J.'s soon-to-be-current room. Stephanie knocks on the door. Stephanie: Michelle, can we come in? Michelle: inside Whose room is this? D.J.: It's your room. Michelle: OK, come in. open the door and come in Welcome to my room. D.J.: Michelle, if you don't move, you're missing out on a wonderful experience. Living with Stephanie was the happiest time of my life. Michelle: to D.J. Then why don't you keep her? D.J.: Well, um, I've been happy long enough. It's time for you to be happy. to Stephanie This is my gift to you. Stephanie: down on the floor Michelle, why don't you wanna live with me? Michelle: Because you call me a "kindergarten baby". Stephanie: I'm sorry. What I meant to say was, You're in kindergarten, baby! Michelle: Nice try. Stephanie: Come on. If you live with me, I'll give you a bag of cookies. Michelle: OK, I'll live with you. Stephanie: Really? Michelle: You're lucky I love cookies. Stephanie: Well Michelle, now that we're living together, I only have one rule: I'm the boss. Michelle: No, I'm the boss. Stephanie: No, I'm the boss. Michelle: No, I'm the boss. D.J.: Isn't this beautiful? You 2 were made for each other. they continue arguing as to who will be the boss of Stephanie and Michelle's room as of next time, D.J. escorts them out of her soon-to-be-current room as of next time, closes the door, and exclaims an exciting and fist-pumping "YES!" to celebrate her new-found freedom for the first time in many moons. Trivia *The episode title is a take on stand-up comedian 's famous one-liner "Take my wife... please". *The plot is similar to the series premiere "Our Very First Show", where DJ and Stephanie share a room and have to get used to it. (Here, in addition to D.J. getting her own room, Michelle becomes Stephanie's new roommate.) *Michelle's "Read my lips: raspberry" may be a play on " ", the phrase spoken by then-presidential candidate at the 1988 Republican National Convention as he accepted the nomination. *Michelle calling Stephanie a "cheese-head" is a reference to the nickname given to a person who lives in Wisconsin (which is famous for their cheese) and/or a fan of the . *Stephanie saying "Ricky Tikki Tavi" is a play on the well-known short story " " from The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling. Category:Season 5 Category:Episodes Category:Quotes Category:Trivia Category:Episodes featuring guest stars